Lamb is an unusual monster. Lamb was born with three heads, but its parents only gave it one name. Lamb. Which isn't a particularly good name for a monster. But the real problem was only having one name. Between themselves, they went by Number One, Number Two, and Number Three. Everyone else simply called them Lamb.

If you ever met Lamb, your conversation would probably begin like this:
"Hello Lamb," you'd say.
"Hel-," Head Number One would start.
"What's," Number Three would chime in.
"Hi," Two would simply say.
"Up?" finished Three excitedly.
"-lo," One concluded.
You can see the problem...

Head Number One

Most of the time, Number One was in charge. Not because One was a born leader. It could easily be just as self-centered as the other two heads. But when you have three heads and only one body, some head needs to be in charge or you'll never get anything done. Lamb's heads agreed that One would be in charge because, after all, One is the first number. Though One was only ever really in charge when Two and Three couldn't agree.

What One wanted most of all was its own body. Two and Three were great most of the time, but something always happened every day that made One want out. Now. Like when Two put its tongue in One's ear. Gross. Or when Three sang the Warthog fight song all day. One tried to plug its ears, but it is impossible to plug both ears with only one arm. Actually, that's why Two's tongue ended up in One's ear. Two was only trying to be helpful.

One wanted full control of its body. It's no good being in charge when you still have to get two other heads to agree enough to go along with you. With its own body, One would only ever have to agree with One.

Head Number Two

Number Two often feels it's stuck between a rock and a hard place. You see, Two has no control of Lamb's arms or legs. So it has to do whatever One and Three want to do.

Since Two has to rely on it's head entirely, it became the smartest of the three. While One is studying math and Three is studying Spelling, Two studies both at the same time, plus learning to speak the language of giants through its headphones.

In school, whenever the teacher asks a question, Two always has the answer. Every teacher thought Lamb was the smartest monster in school. Unfortunately, when it came time for the test, Lamb usually only got B's and C's. You can't talk during a test. So even though Two knew all the answers, it couldn't whisper them to One or Three to write on the paper. None of the teachers could understand why Lamb never got A's.

Not having any control of its body wasn't Two's only problem. Its head was slightly smaller and its neck was slightly shorter than One's and Three's. It was already bad enough when Lamb would peek around a tree. One would peek around one side, Three would peek around the other side, and Two would have to watch an ant crawl up the bark. Being the runt made things worse. If you saw Lamb peeking over the wall, you'd see two monsters and you'd wonder what that patch of hair was sticking up between them.

Head Number Three

Number Three was the most unique of Lamb's heads. Lamb was definitely a monster, but Number Three felt that it - unlike the rest of Lamb - was really a fairy. Not that Three minded being mistaken for a monster. It loved to scare the people that lived in those ugly "houses" down the hill, and it was a diehard fan of the Warthogs, the best Snotball team in the country. Even tromping through the woods and coming home covered in mud was a delight. You've surely never seen a fairy do those things, but Three loved them.

Still, there were other things Three wished it could do that One and Two would never agree to. Like wear an sparkly dress with high heels. Or play with a pretend wand and let all of Lamb's stuffed creatures' wishes come true. Or, most un-monsterlike of all, visit humans and help them rather than raid and pillage their villages. All those things any fairy would love to do. But for some reason, monsters weren't supposed to enjoy such things. Three never understood why.


< HomeChapter 1 >